Thursday, 30 December 2010

A good positive thought for the day.

Lying in bed this morning thought of another positive to all this.  At least I won't have to have any more mammograms!

I am trying to sort out practical arrangements.  When I get out, my lovely neighbours Sarah and Debb's are going to take turns to help wash me.  I can empty the drains and record the volume.
What is proving difficult is care for Holly when I'm in hospital as Holly doesn't seem to want to discuss her options.  Have now told her she has till Friday to make a decision or I'll make it for her.
The  other issue I have is that on Monday 10th I have to have injections and scans (I'll explain in another post) for most of the day before my op on Tuesday 11th where I have to be on the ward for 7:30am. Now it makes sense to me due to the distance I live from the hospital (1 hours plus drive ) and the time I have to be there the next day, to have a bed from Monday night but have been told this morning that I don't qualify and to look at other alternatives.

I really don't fancy going up to Bristol 2 days on the trot and the 2nd trip being silly o'clock in the morning but currently that's looking like my plan B.

Friday, 24 December 2010

Remembering Absent Friends and Family

A spray of roses just for you, Sprinkled with teardrops instead of dew, And in the middle a Forget-me-not, to let you know we have not Forgot ♥ xxxxx ♥ xxxxx ♥

A mulled cider in the Plough with my sister Rachel yesterday and we toasted Col Dave Nige Keith and Mum.  A white feather descended on the table from nowhere.  A year now passed since Colin left us with the Angels. 

Feeling more positive about next year. Rachel pointed out that she copes with this by thinking my recently found tumour (Must get this christened)  is only 13mm and Cruella was 29mm so has been found earlier!!!  I cope as I know exactly what to expect :-( 
My niece wrote the following poem in memory of Colin

In memory, of an amazing man. 

by Laura Tai Davies on Friday, 26 November 2010 at 22:07
A smile and a grin, you never had a frown
Your love for us all was something so special
That you can make me smile with just simple words
The cleverest idiot, in my universe.

Many people loved and knew you,
Nothing like how close you were to my heart
I just wish that I could turn back the time
And say the words that were you in your life.

Always look on the bright side of life
Was the thing that you lived by
You never faltered and never failed
You somehow always prevailed.

Your infectious laughter and the cheeky grin
The bushy moustache, hanging on your lips
The crap jokes you always did or told
The grin never faltering, even when you went bald.

I loved you from the beginning
Right till the very end,
You were my light and shining star
I now know you’re never afar.

I just wish I had the chance to say
‘I love you’ once more.
The fact you kept on laughing till the end
It made me thankful that you were Gods send.

I miss you and I love you
Never ever forget that.
Give everyone a hug from me,
And send a kiss to David please.

To someone who changed my life for the better~
I miss you Colin

Merry Christmas and Happy new year to our friends and family where ever you all are xxx

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Bouncing back

Despite my brother Kevin and his fiance Amanda being here for the weekend, feelings of anticipation won't go away.  I know what to expect, so why feel anxious ? I know why.  This is horrible.
I went through a box that I keep all the cards and letters I received last year and this made me smile for a bit at least.

May you always have an angel by your side 
Watching out for you in all the things you do
Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days
Finding ways for your wishes and dreams to take you to beautiful places
Giving you hope that is as certain as the Sun
Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide
May you always have love and comfort and courage

Back to work tomorrow that should keep my mind occupied.


Thursday, 16 December 2010

What a bummer

Went for my post op assessment yesterday in Bristol.  Looking forward to my having my dressings removed so I can have a shower and wash my own hair.  Holly soaked me when she did it for me.
After a chat with one of the ladies I was in hospital with last week, got called in after a 10 minute wait and along with my surgeon and breast care nurse a 3rd person was in as well whom I just thought was a medical student.  Mr Rater started talking about the processes the breast tissue goes through once it's removed and I nodded yes I'd expect it to be tested, then he hit with "we have found cancer in the tissue"
In summary the Histology report for the breast tissues shows Multifocal Lobular Cancer despite being on Tamoxifen with the largest focus being 13mm and identified as G2 Lobular Breast Cancer.  There are other lumps that has been confirmed as Lobular Carcinoma in situ (LCIS ) which increase the risk of developing into breast cancer later on. Unsure yet but it is likely to be a new Primary cancer rather then a recurrance of Cruella.
Treatment Plan - Mastectomy with an immediate reconstruction booked for the 11 January 2011.  They have discussed the technical aspects because this breast now has wounds and due the the amazing way they have healed he is confident with the options he has that he can still do another brilliant job. 
I have said I do not want to go through Chemo again and I got  "We will cross that bridge when we get to it" Well they are going to have to really sell the benefits of that one to me!
Holly took it on the chin not sure it's sunk in yet.
I'm ok had a good cry and back to making the practical arrangements required for me to spend a week in hospital.
Have asked them to supply me with a sick bowl as I come out of recovery this time though :-) 

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Well that's that bit over with

and I am over the trauma which I will summarise for you .
Last on list so didn't get taken down till 4:30pm.  I was allowed a glass of water around 10:30am. Once in the theatre couldn't get a vein to put in the cannula.  3 attempts on my my left hand after reminding them not to use my right hand due to the risk of Lymphodema  4th attempt on my foot and it was looking like my op may not be happening then after some beating, the 5th attempt in my leg and I'm asleep.

I woke up in recovery feeling very thirsty and sipped chilled water whilst coming round and got took back up to the ward around 9pm.  Sipped a coffee and nibbled 2 biscuits.  When  I started to feel sick I realised I hadn't been give the buzzer control and I was attached to the bed by my drain. A confused nurse came in as with 2 of us calling and a 3rd buzzing wasn't sure who to help first but it was all for me and I confirmed I felt sick.  By the time the nurse returned the projectile vomiting had started missing the bowl.  She and I was covered and the bed.  The lady opposite me ducked as it flew across the room stopping just short of her bed.  During the episode I lost my control of my bladder so all in all I was in a very unpleasant mess which as  my nurse was on her own was left in for far too long.  After cleaning the floor my nurse got a bowl of hot water and cloths so I could wash myself down. A second nurse appeared telling me they were going to give me some anti sickness drugs and where was my cannular? All I could remember was that it was in my foot. Whoops nothing there.  You are not sticking another one in can I just have tablets and she explained that she would be able to inject me and it would just take a bit longer to get to work. Eventually I was clean and dry but not too warm in a pretty pink gown. so thankful I took my dressing gown. When I got off the bed ooh look canular in my leg !!

Come morning after another very small sickness episode, I was told they would need to see if my breakfast would stay down and my surgeon agreed I could go home with the drain,  I had to manage going home with 2 last year and by 10:30 I got thumbs up and put in motion my plan for coming home and thanks to Alex I was home for 2pm.

1 week later, wound healing well with drain removed Saturday. I am going back to Bristol to have my dressing removed today :-)

Monday, 6 December 2010

Boob Op pt 2

Well, Sue was feeling a bit fractious this morning, but got to the hospital and booked in all ok.

She texted me to let me know she was last on the list, so she wouldn’t be in surgery till late afternoon. So very happy we had such a lovely dinner last night courtesy of The Bebbs.

Texts received throughout the day were full of the usual really interesting comments, such as, just been drawn on, bored, hungry, bored, thirsty, bored, ooh and the anaesthetist is moving to Taunton next year! 

Anyway, she’s out of surgery and back on the ward now, hopefully, all things being well, should be home some time tomorrow.

Rachel xx

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Twas the night before my 2nd op

and a fabulous last supper was had curtesy of the Bebbingtons.  Thank you guys !!  
Plan A to get to the hospital was no longer an option this evening but before I could contact Plan B (Alex)  Nige Bebbington , who was never on my plan list,  told me he is taking me on the way to Street.  Ok a little detour but all organised now and Alex gets a lie in.

Feeling a tad nervous but the roast pork dinner has made me feel a bit sleepy.  Got an early start tomorrow and Rach will update blog in the afternoon   hopefully...
Night all